Sunday, March 14, 2010


Had a good week for the most part.  Was actually able to sit down and get some work done this week.  Stressful, though.  Stress drove me.  I guess that is both good and bad.  Stress isn't really a good thing, but it did force me to be more productive.  Trying to look at the positive side so instead of saying to myself that I should have gotten more done or should have been working like this all along, I am congratulating myself for doing more than twice my recent average.  I also managed to get to three volleyball games, a sports pot luck that I didn't find out about until the afternoon of, and a dodgeball tournie!  And we even ate hot meals every night!  Whoohooo!  Apparently I had some pretty lucent moments this week.  A very positive thought to end the week with and a good feeling to carry over to the next.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Rivers of thoughts

The words flow through my mind.
Like raging rivers after a torrential downpour.
Racing ever faster
Toward whatever end awaits.
The lone thought that I am looking for
Is somewhere in the midst
of the surging waters.
Lost to me
Until the storm subsides.
But it seems to be
That the storm is never ending.
Constantly flooding my mind.
Making it impossible to grasp
The one single thought
That I so desperately need to find.
That I need to capture.
One thought amid all the foam and spray.
Where is it?
I fear that my thoughts will forever be
Drowning in that torrent
Of the raging, frenzied river
That is my mind.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010


No sooner do I post about finding strength than that strength is tested.  Boy what a day!  Woke up late to start with and that always makes for a not so fun start to the day.  Then I wasn't feeling good, mind scattered, headache.  Still grumpy when I picked N up from school and was not nice.  Her return attitude didn't help.  But when I needed it most I remembered my post from yesterday and was able to be strong.  We've gotten past the worst of it, thank heavens, and tomorrow is another day.  I am strong and I can handle whatever comes my way.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Finding Strength

Do you ever wonder where strength comes from?  I'm not talking physical strength, but that certain something that some people seem to have that helps them get through life.  I've always wondered because I never really believed that I had any.  I would watch other people and wonder to myself how they got through, how they dealt with all the things that people have to deal with.  I always feel like I'm falling apart when anything challenging comes up, like I'm just going to lose it at any minute.  I would look to those around me to hold me up believing that their strength and support is what made me strong, never really believing in my own ability to be strong.  Well guess what?  I found it!!!  In myself!  I am strong.  I don't need anyone else to make me strong.  Sure, there are times when it is good to lean on someone, let them support us.  But in the daily dealings of life, where I have always felt far less than adequate, I have learned that I can be strong.  I may not always do things right, make the right decision, or finish a project perfectly.  But, tell me, who does?  At least today, I feel like I could take on the world and win!  It's been inside of me the whole time.  Tomorrow is another day and that strength may falter, but now that I have put these words out there they are there to remind me of where I need to look when I need to be strong.