Why?

Why do I find myself doing things that I don't really want to be doing,
but unable to stop?
Why do I feel like I'm making excuses when I say
that I just can't stop myself?
I don't know why I can't stop.
I don't know how to change it.
How do I make myself stop?
Were that it was just as easy as saying to myself, "STOP!"
I yearn to find a way,
to make the changes that you want me to make.
I struggle every day,
trying to make myself change,
then feeling useless and helpless
when I get through another day
having done the same things as before.
I want to change, really.
I don't like feeling this way, being this way.
I really want to change!
Why can I not hold on to the strength of that statement?
And why do I feel like you don't believe me?